Parade 2001

For Sale:

2-BFG Comp TA 205/55 VR-16 tires
2-BFG Comp TA 225/50 VR-16 tires

Approx. 75% tread remaining, $200/set

Bob Dideriksen
2335 Mulberry Street
Coralville, IA 52241
319/338/8403

The Sky May Stop Drivers From Speeding

^{A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO THE SWAP MEET or: A fool and his money are soon partying}

^{by Gary Barnhill, Orange Coast/San Diego Regions}

^{(from The Windblown Witness)}

^{Perhaps you know one? Perhaps you are one? The total, over the top, end of the pier, quintessential Porsche addict. They still own their first Porsche. And their second, and... Hey, you don’t sell your kids, do you? And, each car looks like it left the factory yesterday. Saturdays are for washing, Sundays for Zymol. Encountering another Porsche at the fuel pump turns into a 12 step meeting. Their own club is Porscheholics Anonymous.}

^{So last week, my neighbor, Bruce Sansone, telephoned after work. Three days in a row, in fact, to report the discovery of a 1969 911S Targa in Hemmings. One of those rare finds. Absolutely immaculate, totally original condition, low mile car, with more documentation than the Lewinsky affair. And, get this, it’s in San Diego. Like it was the semi-annual Calvin Klein underwear sale, we should just jump in the car and go buy some.}

^{The original Michelin XVR spare tire has never seen asphalt. One of only 10 special order soft window Targas in ’69. Perhaps the world’s only Signal Red (paint to sample) Targa, and would you believe this, it’s got black and white hounds-tooth wool seat inlays. No! Really! The car was hermetically sealed for 12 years by a grieving widow, then briefly owned by a famous golf pro. Black California plates, the original hand printed factory order sheet, and on, and on, and on. Original this, correct that, nothing missing, looks like new. You know the story? Sunday, 6:30 a.m., Ring-Ring. Hey, Gary! That ’69 911S Targa will be at Dunkel Brother’s Anaheim Swap Meet today. Would I come along and be the duty ear for Bruce’s excitement?}

^{We arrive early at Dunkel’s, to see maybe 80 Porsches parked on the grass. There it is! There it is! As if in disbelief, it’s here, it’s here! Oh, my god, will you look at that! All that was before Bruce even got out of the car. A friend in Florida won the six million dollar lottery and he never got this excited.}

^{Let me digress. Once, at an elegant mansion Christmas party, with beautiful wives and babes going ignored, Bruce was in his cups. As if we never talk, he pinned me against the wall with an instructive index finger for 2 interminable hours, going on and on as to why I should own a 911S. But it has to be ’69 model. Bruce the purist, is a walking opinion, and count on him to trump your opinion with his opinion. It was one of those, real men only (eat quiche) drive Porsche moments. Hey! Bruce was my ride home, so I listened, interrupted only by his Chardonnay refills, and wet demonstrations of a 911S revving to full RPM.}

^{Bruce immediately begins his assault on the 911S Targa with the attention of a Parade Concour Judge, engaging the seller every second with staccato questioning while taking out trunk mats, tools, spare tire, and everything else to inspect remote crevices. Has it got this, has it got that? Yep. Everything was original. Everything was there. A small crowd admired the car. It was gorgeous and the red leather seats with black and white houndstooth wool inserts was the cherry... on top of the whip cream... on top of the ice cream... on top of the chocolate frosting... on top of the chocolate cake. Stupid me, I asked where he had the seats redone. They were original.}

^{I yanked Bruce aside. This thing is magnificent, you are going to buy it, right? Oh no! Emily won’t let me have another car (it would be a 4th Porsche to go with his originals: ’73 911T, ’86 Carrera and ’97 Carrera). In Bruce’s world, this car just had to be seen. This whole drill was just a museum visit.}

^{Look Bruce, if you’re not going to buy it, I am. Oh, really? You would buy this car? As in, you, little old Gary Barnhill who’s Porsche knowledge would flood a thimble.}

^{Seller Steve Anderson is a likable and impressive young Nissan car designer. He could serve as Porsche factory museum docent without any training. I tried to open negotiations. Problem was, I couldn’t get Bruce to shut up so I could engage Steve. Bruce had, maybe, another 200 questions?}

^{Steve had 2 people arriving later who were expected to make offers on the car. I was panicky. OK, so I make an offer he can’t refuse. The guy who just come along for the ride, who has no garage space for another car, just bought another car. And I’m not even going to get into my cash flow problems. Please! Help! Won’t someone do an intervention.}

^{My excitement was like a bride at her own reception. As old friends came by, I recounted the story. Just came along for the ride, but bought a car. Skip Carter took photos and requested 3 short paragraphs for the Witness. Dr. Vince and racer'ett Cecelia Knauf offered congratulatory hugs.}

^{Later I met the famous Freeman Thomas, who designed the new Beetle and Audi TT. Turns out Freeman was one of the 2 interested parties. Seinfeld was the other. A crushed Bernard from Newport Beach had difficulty accepting I bought the car he read about in Hemmings, and had come to purchase.}

^{This car is worthy of the Q-tip crowd, but I’m a lowly lazy autocrosser. Look for it in Wash & Shine at your friendly Concours show.}